This Is It.. part 5

15 days Later...

She took her book, journal book, contained stories of her life.

Her finger searched an empty page, when she found one, she held her pen tightly, and started writing.

HiGh And DrY

Today is just like the other day,

He called me on the phone, saying “I miss you”

We have not met for 15 days, it is fine, I mean, we keep in touch every day, it is like seeing him, but cannot touch him.

Somehow, I feel he is around me, and keeps an eye on me all the time.

Somehow, I feel his hands embrace me, and hug me gently.

Somehow, I feel he is here but I just cannot see him.

It was like killing me when he suddenly said “I really want to see you”

I could only answer “see me then, come here”

But all I could hear he whined and said “I’m not going back there to stay, but may be I’ll visit you some time”

Some time, that word was like cutting my heart into pieces, which for me it would be so hard to mend because, I’ve been trying to fix the old pain.

I knew this time would come, but I always hope that it would never end this way.

Is it wrong if I’d better die than living without his love?

Is it wrong?

God, I know You are looking at me now, You are listening to whatever I say, I am begging You..

I need him, as one piece to make those broken pieces stick together.

He completes me.

He is always the part of me.

He will always be the part of me.

Please let us be the one, hand in hand living our love ‘til the end of our time.

Don’t leave me high, and then

leave me dry..

(For him I always adore)

This Is It.. part ........??

It was midnight, and She could not close her eyes.
She still waited for her lover to call.
They always spent the nights together, it was like lying side by side in two different places.

Deep inside their heart, they regretted of being apart for a thousand miles, if only they could stay closer, if only ..


(to be continued)

No TiTtle

I only have eyes for you ...

I don't see anybody but you...

..............................................................................................................................................................................

the lyric from I only have eyes for you by Jamie Cullum.
WoW..

It's such a great day, having many things to do at once,
if you ask me "is it killing you?"
I'd say.. "It's killing me softly"

Then I remember a song from Vanessa Carlton, More than this.
If we could spend a second, a minute, an hour, a day, a night with someone we love, we don't need more than that..
Even if our work drive us crazy.. we never really care about that..

We just have to thank to God for the things He gives..

But... If only we cannot get what we really expect.. then.. Perhaps we need to rethink, review, re.... and re... and re...


last thing .. is to reconsider..

whenever you feel that you have a problem with someone or in doing something then
you need to consider many things...

This Is It.. part 4

It was not about the cake, it was more than that.
Her heart was beating so hard at the time he said good bye.
Jealousy and pain suddenly showed up.
She drove her car slowly, listening to a song by Bread, entitled make it with you.
She could not forget the way he looked at her when he said good bye. She still could listen to his gentle voices while saying "Good Bye dear.."

If only she could change the things, but again, it was just a dream and a hope.
The sky was getting darker, the wind blew harder, the road was more crowded, and she pictured his face on his mind, hoping he would never leave her even in a second.

she talked to herself.
"Love, it hurts and cheers me at the same time, uuuhhffhh.."
Then She drove her Pajero faster, and wished to get home soon.
----------------------------------------00-------------------------------------------

That night, She could not close her eyes, her thought flew to him.
Suddenly her cellphone rang,She smiled widely, and picked up the call. It was from her lover, telling her that he had arrived safe and sound in his lovely house.
They spent only few minutes to chat and then slept.

Outside the window, the air was like whispering the name of love.
The stars shone brightly, as they were trying to make people feel better.
The sky was very dark, but the stars made it so beautiful that seemed gave everyone who saw it a great happiness.
They were like hopes and dreams that wandered around the world.

The earth spun slowly, time went by as everybody closed his/her eyes.
Up above the sky, angels singing a lullaby for every soul who is in love.


(to be continued)

This Is It.. part 3

She opened the door of her car, and took a white box.
She checked out the box, smiled, and then walked back to her lover.

The man could only look at her gently, and said: "don't say you bought chocolate muffin!"
She smiled back at him and answered: "this is the first cake that made you mad at me, and this is also my favourite cake, loved by someone that I always expect to love it, so.. you want it or not?"

Again He smiled, and hugged her arm: "I don't know what you are thinking,of course I want this muffin, who doesn't?"
He took one of the cakes and got the spoon to eat it.
she was surprised because she just realised that the way he ate the muffin, was exactly the same with his father.
She shouted: "wait... I never pay attention to this.. it's like waking up from a strange dream!!"
He said quietly: "what's wrong dear? you are so ... you know.. different today, is everything okay? is there any problem?"

The young girl, or the young woman, did not say anything.
The wind blew her hair softly.
The man held her hand and asked: "Honey, answer me.. are you okay?"
She smiled and said: "yeah, I'm fine, it's just, all this time I never realise that you ate that cake just like daddy"
He exclaimed: "What?!? ow come on, everybody eats this cake in the same way"
She argued: "no dear.. it's not exactly the same.."
He added: "ok then, so what's the problem? you know.. you are so surprised as someone who just saw a ghost or something"
She smiled, then answered: "well, I always think.. that none does something, I mean exactly the same thing like him"

The man kissed her shoulder, and said wisely: "it's not a problem then, don't give me that look please..."
She stared at him and smiled.
"okay, I'm sorry, I'm just not ready to stay away from you"
The man held her hand tightly.
"Look, I've told you, don't think in a negative way, we used to keep in touch miles away, why suddenly.. you are acting like a little girl?"

She said nothing.
The man could only gaze at her, then put his hand around her hip.
"Honey, please.. you are not alone, I'll be around, though not physically beside you, we can talk on the phone, we can text each other, okay?"
She smiled bitterly.
She looked at him sharply, and words came out of her lips.
"I don't know,it's just.. so hard without you by my side.. I mean, I still have a hope that there is another day for us"
He interrupted: "of course... Please.. let us keep on our faith together, I just have leave to take care of my business, so.. ?"
She smiled and said: "hmm... tough... but ... I know we can do this"
He hugged her body tightly,smiled, and kissed her head.
"that's my girl.."

Deep inside her heart, she prayed to God.
"God, after years separating us, Thou let us meet each other, Please let me be always beside him. Years ago, I could only imagine this moment, and now Thou make it real, it's not a dream, not my imagination, please.. please.. listen to my prayer..I've been up and down having this feeling, God..I'm begging Thou.."

This Is It.. part 2

She waited for about 30 minutes.
She could only smile happily when her beloved prince came, smiled wisely, and kissed her head.
She could not stop smiling.

when this gorgeous man sat, she handed a box of present for him.
He looked surprised,but kept smiling and then said: "What is this? it's not my birthday"
She smiled while gazing at his face calmly, and answered: "well, I just want to give you something before you leave"
The man kissed her head once more, and replied: "Honey, you should not do this"
His hand rubbed her hair tenderly, and added:"we will meet again, please don't worry about me"
She smiled, and said: "well, I've been expecting to give something to someone I love, and it's you, so, that's why I do this"

(Silence...)

She asked: "do you like it?"
He answered: "of course I like it.. it's just so wow!I never thought you would prepare this surprise"
She Laughed loudly and begged: "would you please wear it for me?"
Without thinking he put the white shirt on his body,and said: "I like the fabric.. and it's white, I like white, I also like the style, you really know me dear, thank you"

She could not stop staring and smiling at him. She did not think that he would love the gift, because it was just a shirt.
He was like an angel, so handsome, and looked so wise in that white shirt.
Suddenly she remembered something, she held his hand, and exclaimed: "OOOPPS!! I forget something.."
He looked at her in a puzzle,then said: "what's wrong dear?"
She answered: "I bought you something... "
He was bewildered: "something what?"
She smiled: "I had bought our favorite cake, and I think I've left in the car, wait up, I'll get it for you"

Without saying a word she ran quickly to her car.
The man only could smile and shook his head.

This Is It.. part 1

She smiled at her own self,while still looking her face at the mirror.
she stood up, and combed her hair, and smiled once more.

She put the jacket on her body, and grabbed her cellphone that laid on the bed.
she walked out of the room, and wore her high heels.
She went to the garage, and found that she left her car's key in the bedroom, so she walked in back, and took the key hanging on her cupboard.


In the garage;

She opened the car's door,and got in to the seat behind the wheel.
She drove her car out of the garage, and headed to a place where she could meet someone that she had expected to see.

1 hour later..

She arrived at a restaurant, a very comfy Java restaurant, where each table has its own privacy, it is completed with a bamboo wall as its room divider, and every visitor could pick his/her favourite table without any interruption.

She spotted a cozy place and sat there, waiting her prince of her heart.

This Is It..

A young girl stared at her own face in front of the mirror.

A flash of memories woke her up from a long day dreaming, or may be it is better called as morning dreaming.





(to be continued)

Dubious

Someone told me...

"Vie.. it's your turn to think about your self, you've been thinking of everyone's opinion in making any decision in your life"

I was like... slapped very hard right on my face,,

Then.. that person also reminded me; "I know, we should think of others, but it doesn't mean you put your heart back there, and leave it just like that, you need a better life, you deserve to get something better"

I've been thinking all those words,, and it's not that easy to ignore people whom you always think of...

It's easy to put your self higher, the hardest part is when you have to keep your self right there.. like forever.. because we never be able to predict the exact thing that will happen tomorrow.

Getting something is easier than maintaining something..

hmm..


Any comment??
Write it... ^^

"FaMiLy"

One day in my speaking class...

I asked my students a question :
"If you have a lot of money.. what will you do?"

Everyone smiled, one answered: "I'll go to Japan, I love that country very much"
I asked: "why Japan?"
He said: "well, I like the cultures, the people, the buildings,hmm.. everything about it"

Then the other student suddenly attracted my attention, She said: "Miss Vie.. if I have a lot of money, I'll go to Bali, and live there"

I smiled, and asked other students: "what about you guys? do you wanna buy something or go somewhere?"

A boy shouted: "I wanna buy a sport car miss,, like Ferrari or something"

I said :"that's great, I also love car.. haha"
At the same time, I imagined my self driving a sport car... ^^
it's all gone when another student said: "I wanna go to England, to London, I wanna visit London Eye"

I thought, she's got the point, I like england too, the unique buildings, the extra ordinary cultures, and so forth.

Anyway..

I continued asking my students one by one, and I was kinda shocked when there was a student answered: "I wanna buy a big house for my family"

It shocked me because, everyone said, "I" only, but this student added "my family" in the end of her sentence.

My family.. it's a common word, it's a noun, or something..

but the meaning is so deep that people will never forget how they live with their family.

I cannot imagine if someone lives on his/her own feet with no family at all.
I mean... at the first time it might be easy, we can do whatever we like without thinking "my family will hate this"

but then I imagine my self having a big house and a sport car, visiting great countries, and so on without having a family...

I don't think I'll be happy....

What about you???!!?

Living this life like a photographer

Some people say.. Life is like a riddle.. I agree with those people... but still I have another opinion...

Few days ago.. I read a news section in Guardian,, and I found a journalist (sorry, can't remember his name) he wrote about his experiences in taking spectacular pictures and how others contacted him just to get several important pictures of well known people. They did what they could only to meet him and asked him to show or to lend the original pictures which they needed to make brochures, posters, stories, and so forth.

I was like... wow... this guy was so cool.. he was there.. took all pictures and even kept the rolls. (red: no digital camera years ago) haha..

anyway... he mentioned his feeling when he clicked the camera's button.
He thought... "once I click this button, I'll get the picture, and I can't un-click it, so I gotta try my best to get the best shots"

Then He suddenly had a thought... When you live your life.. you are just exactly like a photographer.. once you do something you can't undo that..
clicking the button here is described as choosing action in living this life.

I was like... hey.. he got the point..
I remember those days... when my dad gave me a Canon camera,, the old version,, I was always be careful in shooting pictures.. because.. once I clicked the button I got the picture in the roll, and I would be able to see the result only after the rolls stretched and washed and dried and so on....

If I just click anything without selecting the best angle, then.. I'd just spend rolls for nothing..

just like us...

We live to get the best things.. am I right???
We always try to capture best moments in our lives..
We do our best to get what we want...
so...

If we choose to do something... without considering anything we'll just spend our time for nothing...

I'll say.... before clicking the button we have to get the best position, perfect angle, nice pictures, good mood, and.... hmm... tell me about it...
^_^

In deciding anything in this life... more or less.. we should try those actions :P
I mean it...

you know.. making decision is inevitable...
we do this all the time..
that's why.. we can't just say yes or no without any good reason..

For example: you are hungry so you eat something, which means.. you eat something for a reason,,, no matter what it is.. you always get a reason to do something.

hhmm.....

What do you think??
do you have any idea??
Of course you do... so Share yours here... :)

Erratic...

What the heck is going on with me??

one thing for sure...

I turn to be someone who is so unbelievable....

I don't know it's good or bad..

but ..

I have a new spirit in facing this life... with or without someone special...

I believe that I can be a tougher woman... ever... haha..
no kidding...

there is something or.. "something" ... (^_^).. that encourages me .. everyday.. to do the best things in my life..

I never thought it would happen to me..

I mean... I'm 26.. I think... I can decide every single thing only in a second..and will not change the way I think..
but then.. age doesn't mean anything here..

I feel like... I'm younger.. again.. it's like 20 or something.. hahaha

but it's true...

I don't feel the tiring anymore...
my spirit is really above all...

(at least .. that's what I guess)

if there is something that stops me to feel this way... then may be.. it's ... (off the record)
:P

hahaha...

but I don't wanna lose this feeling...

no matter what...

it feels great.... !!!

God.... what is this??

is this why people talk about .. the best thing of being 26 or 27????

I really have no idea...

Guys... do you have any idea??

Malang this week..

Every Tuesday.. Malang always rains hard..at least that what happened these two weeks the problem with raining in Malang or other cities... is.. Flood...

it happens all the time
And I gotta get used to it...

moreover...the direction to get my second office is the centre area of the flood...

yesterday... on the way to the office..
inside the minibus... I was like.... "WOWWW" seeing the water rose about a half of our legs,, many people stopped, because their motorcycle's engine just suddenly couldn't work properly...

whhueeeuuuiiigh...

I actually have no idea of what am i gonna write..
it's just.. my student is working on his exercise and... um free.. hahaha...

lil' story of Malang (PART 2)

Several questions to answer...

What is your favorite food?
What is your favorite snack?
What is your favorite beverage?

Well.... I have lots of favorite foods, snacks, and beverages.

few years ago.. I loved Gudeg very much..but I got a .. trauma.. because of eating gudeg made by Malang people.. I was hospitalised for three days..

my stomach was too sensitive, and there were several mistakes in the process of cooking Gudeg.. (the process takes hours even two days, if the chef makes mistakes so.. it won't be perfect, the taste might be good but the bacteria might stay there too)

anyway..

now I don't wanna eat Gudeg in Malang anymore.. instead of searching the best restaurant to get yummy gudeg, I prefer to find other places for other foods..

just so you know.. the real east Javanese do really like spicy and hot foods..
and I can't adapt with that..
I like sweet foods.. or something that is not too spicy and hot..

And it's really not easy finding that kind of food
because.. when they say.. this food is not spicy.. it means spicy to me..

so.. it's really different..

actually.. I'd like to recommend some restaurants in Malang that .. you might
wanna try..as Malang is very famous of the meat ball, so.. I think I'd better talk about it..

If you like meat ball(red: meat ball).. you can go to Bakso Cak Man and Bakso Gun, both are delicious.. but.. there are plus and minus here.. I like Bakso Gun because.. each table is completed by a small stove, which keeps our foods warm or even hot!
we can add some veggies too.. many kinds of fries.. and anything you like..

Bakso Kota Cak Man is also tasted great.. ow.. the meat balls (beef)taste better than Bakso Gun, but in Cak Man we can't have the veggies,and the stoves. Anyway.. the gravy is better in Bakso Gun than Bakso Cak Man,, so..

I suggest you to try all of 'em.. ^^

well.. for snacks.. Malang is well known of the sweet potato (red: telo)
there are many products made of telo,, my favorite is bakpia telo, and bakpao telo which is just taken from the oven.. cool!!

hmm...

Talking about beverage.. it's not gonna be easy.. because the are many kinds of it..
so I'm not gonna suggest anything about drink.. but I'll tell you a bit about my favorite drink when I go to Japanese restaurant called Saboten.

I love chocolate very much.. and in Saboten I can get what I really want.. a glass of chocolate is filled by chocolate chips.. so it is really great!! may be you should try that one.. hahaha..

Well... I'm not gonna write about foods all that way..

now.. it's your turn to tell me your favorite food.. ^^
please also tell me your fave drink.. snacks.. and so forth..

lil' story of Malang (PART 1)

Back in 2001,, August..

It was the second time I came to Malang,, the first was.. long time ago when I was 3rd grade of junior high school.

Anyway...

I never imagined that I would stay in Malang..

I spent 6 years in Solo, which was so great..
Malang was never been my choice at all.. I always wanted to continue my study in Jogja,, which is not far from Solo..
so .. the people are.. more or less.. have similarities in many ways..

But then.. my dad made me to stay in Malang.. which was really stressful at the beginning.

the culture was so much different from Solo.. or from my home town Magetan (which is the border of East Java and Central Java)

there were many things that got me a lil' culture shock..
language, people, weather, food and many more..

I'm Javanese, a real one although I cannot speak Javanese as well as others (especially Kromo Inggil).. because I used to speak Indonesia.. (I spent 6 years in a boarding school where we always spoke English, Indonesia.. not Javanese or Sundanese.. or so forth)

what I didn't realise at that time was... Malang people tend to be rude and speak Javanese loudly.. and add the 'A' alphabet in the end of the words

for example: in my home town when we say "iyo ye?" (red:is it true?)
in Malang it will be "iyo a" they both have the same meaning.

I was a bit confused, that's why I never spoke Javanese except with my friends who came from the same area..

it sounds ridiculous.. but that's the truth..

another word that made me dizzy (at that time) was.. when someone said "temenan ta?" I answered "no" because what I knew, "temenan" in Indonesia meant "be friends" .. then I found out that the meaning of that word was "really?"

I thought.. it was so silly...

but after years.. staying in Malang.. I fall in love with it.. the people.. the town..

Malang people are direct.. sometimes it just hurts me.. because they seem to be so rude.. Malang people don't really care about what they do.. I mean.. whether they are polite or not.. not all of them.. but most of them.. ^^

9 years staying in Malang.. made me think in a different way...
I've been learning how to be direct people in certain occasions..
I've been learning not to be too sensitive on certain cases..

it creates a new culture inside my self..

and I like it...

now I really love Malang more than any other towns...
I love my home town.. but it's too difficult to find my favorite books there.. it's a real small town.. haha...

so..

have you ever been to Malang?
please...share your stories here! ;-)


(Addition: it feels great staying here.. although.. recently.. black out is everywhere.. haha..)

only time....

only time......

we never know what will happen later.. even in the next seconds..

that's why we can't keep walking,, if we don't know any direction..
we need to stop somewhere..
asking to people passing by..

but what if none there?

what if.. it's only us...

what are you gonna do?

me...


I'll wander around.. find any kind of sign

if can't find anything..

I'll just keep walking...
not knowing the direction might be a huge challenge .. the toughest one..

but..

it's gonna be so great.. if suddenly we can find the place that we've been trying to look for.. in hours.. in days..in weeks.. in months.. even in years..


it's not about time..

it's really about us..


but only time will answer...
though.. time will never let us know..when...

Reflection...

It's been a long time not writing on my blog..

And this time I have a little story to tell..

or.. questions to ask..


Have you ever decided to be in love with someone because you thought He or She was special for you?

Of course you have.. ^^

my next question is.. what do you do when you suddenly meet someoene that you really liked a few years ago?


my answer will be.... as long as I'm not married yet.. I'll keep in touch with him/her...


now.. Go to the next question..

you are about to marry someone and then you finally think.. that you are not ready..

what will you say? or what will you do?


me? I cannot answer that..

really have no idea...


next ...


I'll try to figure out what next...

in the mean time..

please do answer those questions...
I'd be so grateful.. ^^